


The Good Die Young

by ArsonEmbre



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Please don’t take this seriously, badfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArsonEmbre/pseuds/ArsonEmbre
Summary: Ienzo is upset. Why do these things always happen to him?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	The Good Die Young

**Author's Note:**

> I am begging you not to take this seriously for even a second lmfao

Ienzo was tired. So very tired of no one paying attention to his science. No matter how much he explained how his dohickeys and gizmos worked, no one seemed to care. But he could make them care. He would use all of the things he learned from his five dads and do a big science to make them  _ all  _ care.

Science told him that pufferfish can be eaten if prepared the right way, but would anyone care if it was done right? No. He had to do it wrong so that people would ask him to do his science to fix it and everyone would love him and carry him on their shoulders like they do to those sports players who shoot baskets and win their home runs in fantasy teen movies. Yeah, that’s what he wanted.

Two hours before dinner would be server, Ienzo snuck into The Kitchen That Almost Was and slapped a pufferfish onto the counter. He said “I’ma cook this shit for dinner and y’all gonna eat it, fam.” And everyone agreed except Lea, who was actually Axel in disguise. Lea said, “I don’t know about all that, fam. I’m still kind of full from the Fruit Munchies I ate for breakfast.”

Ienzo decided he would be the first to die.

Ienzo kicked everybody out of the kitchen and used his sick ass karate skills to chop up the pufferfish into tiny perfectly cut square pieces and put them all in a pot of boiling water. He let it boil for ten minutes and then grabbed the fish squares out of the water and put them on a plate for Lea, the most disrespectful one of them all.

He invited Lea into the kitchen and served him his pufferfish dinner. Lea took one bite and started choking. He choked and coughed and coughed and choked and fell on the ground, scratching at his throat with his sock covered hands. Zexion put on his favorite pair of shades and folded his arms all cool like as he watched him slowly die.

But Lea didn’t die. Lea transformed into Axel! Axel hopped up onto the table and pointed at Ienzo with a triumphant smirk. “Aha! I knew you were trying to kill me all along! Now it’s time for you to  _ chill out! _ ” And he blasts Ienzo in the face with his super strong ice powers and kills Ienzo dead.

Ienzo cried after he died, wondering why things had to be this way. Why did no one care about his science? Why didn’t his plan work? Why would people ever wear socks with sandals? It didn’t make any sense. Either your foot is too cold or your foot is too hot. The sock clearly defeats the purpose of the sandal and thinking about it filled him with angry in his dying moments.

He coughed in dead as he looked up at Axel. “You’ll pay for this,” he swore.

“No I won’t. Justice gives out free samples.”

And each member of the Organization burst into the kitchen congratulating Axel on roasting this shit out of that murderer Ienzo.

“You’re going to jail for a long time,” Xemnas told the scientist. But he did not hear him. He had been dead for fifteen minutes.

The Eff Bee Eye rush into the kitchen with their pew pews and handcuff Ienzo’s dead body. Axel wanted to feel proud for what he’d done, but he couldn’t. Ienzo was only six years old. He didn’t deserve prison. But there was nothing he could do about it now. He sat down on the ground and cried mad hard, mourning the loss of his dead great grandfather.


End file.
